Adat Bertunang

After the date for the Adat Bertunang is confirmed, then the event will take place and this will usually be held in the bride’s home. This is where the groom’s side will be represented by his family and relatives who will be sending the gifts (hantaran) to the bride’s home. In most cases, the tepak sirih will be include in the gifts as well as the wedding ring and other gifts which usually include clothes, fruits as well as anything which the bride requires. In some customs, if the bride has any sisters who are not married, the groom should also send some gifts for them too.

Among the common practices in this Adat is that the number of gifts must not be even numbers meaning that it must be 3, 5, 7, 9 and so on. Apart from that, the gifts sent by the bride must outnumber that which are sent by the groom. Items used as hantaran (gifts)
The groom’s hantaran is a very significant part of the ceremony and it must come in odd numbers as the tradition is that even numbers have negative implications in the marriage. The groom’s side will have to prepare a list of items which are usually pre-determined. In the more modern arrangement, the bride would provide a list of items which would be essential so that it could be practically used in the future. However, in most cases, the list of items in a typical hantaran include a ring which is either gold or diamond. This is the typical wedding ring which are used by couples.

The Sirih Meminang which is a betel-leaf container. There must be at least one set of complete clothes. A tudung, fruits, a pair of shoes and a handbag. As mentioned, the modern marriages have seen more practical gifts including notebook computers, mobile phones and such. The most important element is to ensure that the number of items are odd numbered.